relationship versus ego - part 3

love hate relationship
When you are in love with someone it is a deeply satisfying state. You feel intensely alive. The feeling that you are wanted, needed, loved, caressed, full of attention etc., by someone makes the whole world almost fade to insignificance initially.




However you notice that there is a dependency or clinging quality to that intensity. You slowly get addicted to your partner unconsciously not knowing what is in store for the future. You are happy in this relationship because your internal desires are fulfilled by your partner. Your partner too goes out of his way to please you initially. But over a period of time your partner realises that he/she is loosing his personal space and satisfying you all the time becomes a burden because it is you who is always receiving and your partner is always giving away all his time and energy.


Eventually there comes a time the partner runs out of that energy and strongly needs his time and energy reserved for himself. Now your devoid of all the pleasures through your partner which might trigger the fear of loss in you. Even the thought that your partner may no longer be for you can lead to possessiveness, attempt at manipulation through emotional blackmail, jealousy, blaming, accusing, arguing, attacking etc., This leaves your partner in a state of complete withdrawal and unspoken resentment, insensitivity, the need to be right etc., at the flick of a switch. The more your partner moves away from you, the more you try to possess him/her by trying to be over emotional and unconsciously substituting your emotional needs as true love which is easily read by your partner and becomes more entrenched in his mental position. And in case if your partner leaves you, you either become intensely hostile or get struck with profound grief and despair.

This kind of relationship oscillates for a while between the polarities of love and hate. This drama makes them alive. But when the balance between the polarities is lost and the destructive cycles occur with increasing frequency the relationship collapses. Can a love relationship change into a negative one instantly. Was it really true love in the first place or just an clinging or grasping quality of your ego needs? Where is the love now? If this is not love then what LOVE actually is ????????